I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
