I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize