What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize