Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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