Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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