smell my finger.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
