i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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