He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
