Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize