I am in a vortex of obligation.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
did you just send me my own nude
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When are your genitals available?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
