i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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