mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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