we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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