Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize