I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
