Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
