with your own penis?
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
