Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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