Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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