She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
