I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
