He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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