We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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