I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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