I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
