no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
