Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
