ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
