Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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