She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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