she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
