distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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