The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
