Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
