Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
