never play flip cup with pint glasses
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
