Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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