Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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