SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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