End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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