I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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