Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
