u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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