I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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