Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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