I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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