Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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