I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize