Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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