I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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