Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize