how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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