I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
