I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize