I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
