whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
