Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
