don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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