MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
