She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
