i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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