Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
