she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
even my farts smell like vagina
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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