mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize