Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
