i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
