Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
