Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize