the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Drunk is not a location!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
