The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
