No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize