I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
