Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
