But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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